Tonight, I’m recording this episode from an old familiar place. I recently learned that my daughter, who had been doing so well. Left rehab after 15 months. She just walked away from it. All the hard work. The relationships that she’d built. Right now, this second, I am sickened with worry, fear, and feelings of guilt … wondering what went wrong? What did I miss? And why?
We’ve been here before, but this time I feel the separation. Separated by the deep blue ocean, people, time, and experiences. She holds the cards, and I am powerless. What better time than this to tap into some of the strategies I talk about.
Here we go.
1. Surrender, and proclaim that you want to feel better.
2. Tap into all five senses. What do you feel, taste, see, smell, hear?
3. Connect with all the things you know to be true. For example, I am safe. My daughter is resilient and resourceful. She is an adult. And so on.
4. Seek out and celebrate moments of joy, no matter how small. Being present and in the moment, look around you – what is it that makes you smile?
5. What can you add to your environment to bring you joy? Not necessarily materialistic. How about music, or a scented candle. Fresh air, exercise, or going to an Al-anon meeting.
6. Which memories can you think about to feel joyful?
This type of intentionality and positivity can not only change how we feel in the moment. Over time, this kind of work will change your life.
Thank you for being here.
I also wanted to encourage you to be kind to yourself. To show yourself the same love and compassion you give to others. It’s easy to blame anyone other than ourselves for how we feel. When we let the pain take over this may cause us to retreat into ourselves. Getting stuck rewinding and playing painful memories or experiencing all the horrific possibilities that could terribly wrong.
It’s easy to give up. But you must be intentional in wanting to change your mindset. Today I know that only I am responsible for how I feel today, how I perceive and react to different situations in my life, and the decisions I make. My daughter is not responsible for my joy, that’s my job. I am responsible for my own joy.
It is possible. Never give up hope.
As the Mother of an addict, she understands the journey and is passionate about being of service to those who want to live a more meaningful life.
Recent episodes from Shar Jones (see all)
- S3E2: Self-Care to Help Calm the Unsteady Times with Stacy Fisher of Living Upp – May 14, 2020
- S3E1: Learning to Live with Your Loved One’s Addiction – March 12, 2020
- S2E4: Riding the Relapse Rollercoaster – July 22, 2019
Recent episodes from James Hamilton Healy (see all)
- 17. Do What You Love with Kim Grustas - July 8, 2020
- 13. Using Place to Engage in Competency-Based Learning with Nate McClennen - July 6, 2020
- 78: 47th Birthday – Release, Regroup, and Realign - July 6, 2020