#8: Jessica Butts – Do Opposites Attract? How Different Personality Types Affect Your Sex Life

I often hear from clients about how much they struggle when they’re different from each other. In the beginning, we were attracted to this other way of being. We were interested because this person was so different from us. But what  intrigued us in the beginning is what often drives us nuts later in the relationship. So even though opposites attract, they can run into misunderstanding and frustration later.

Sometimes I hear, “I want to be spontaneous and my partner always needs everything planned and scheduled.”

Or, “I want to have sex to feel connected. That’s how I feel connected to my partner.” While the other person is saying, “I need to feel connected first before I’m going to want to have sex with you.”

Or, when something is wrong in the relationship,there are people that want to dig in and solve it right away and make sure they’re coming to a resolution with their partner and that they’re both feeling good. But their partner may be of the type that needs to go away and process internally and doesn’t want to come back and address the issue until they have it worked out in their mind.

These are just some examples of how different people can be from their partner in ways that can cause  problems. So, I thought it might be fascinating to have a guest on who specializes in personality type assessment come in and talk about how personality type might impact your sex life.

In this episode, we talk about how personality type is really just about energy, where we give our best energy and where we get our best energy. Jessica says that types are on a continuum or scale, that it’s not an “either/or” scenario. You aren’t an introvert or an extrovert, but a combination of both, maybe leaning towards one side. So, you’re more introverted or tend to be more extroverted.

In our discussioni, we try to figure out the different ways people show up on this particular assessment and how that might show up in a relationship and specifically with sex.

This just gives you another way to think about the differences between you and your partner. How neither person is wrong or broken, but how you have to work together with a different person and make a sex life in a relationship that’s going to work for both of you.

My special guest today is Jessica Butts. She is the CEO and founder of FrontSeatLife.org, where she inspires, motivates and educates people to live their life from what she calls their “front seat,” using their innate personality type as measured by the Myers-Briggs.

She calls herself a retired psychotherapist since she’s not in practice anymore, and she’s now a life and business coach and Myers-Briggs expert who is on a mission really to inspire other people to accomplish magnificent things by embracing their innate type.

And one thing you’re going to hear her say is to be unapologetically who you are. She’s passionate about personal development, traveling, deep connections with people in her life and helping create a hose for her clients.

And I’m so delighted that she’s agreed to come on the show and talk to us about Myers-Briggs and sex.

Links:
Website – https://jessicabutts.com/
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/FrontSeatLife/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/jessicaButtsMA
LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-butts-06776b4
YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/user/ButtsCounseling
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/frontseatlife/

More info:

Web – https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/
Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/

If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcast

Jessa Zimmerman

Jessa Zimmerman is a couples’ counselor and nationally certified sex therapist. On Better Sex, she and her expert guests share their insights, strategies, and ways of thinking about sex that will help you improve your intimate relationship.