135: Optimal Sexual Experiences – Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz

In this episode, Dr. Kleinplatz introduces her findings around “optimal sexual experiences” based on actual interviews she performed. After much research, she shares these eight components couples need to have to eventually reach an optimal sexual experience:

  1. Being totally absorbed in the moment
  2. Sharing a connection with your partner
  3. Deep sexual and erotic intimacy
  4. High levels of empathic communication
  5. Fun, laughter, exploration and good risk-taking
  6. Authenticity
  7. Vulnerability
  8. Transcendence

Her findings show that people begin to seek these experiences around their mid 50’s. Part of the process of discovery is unlearning much of what we know about sex growing up. Spontaneity arises as one of the behaviors to “unlearn “ as Peggy candidly shares her views on this.

Anyone can get there!
Peggy has found that people with chronic illnesses are enjoying magnificent sex! In an unexpected twist of events, Peggy’s co-workers proved that presumed stereotypes are false. She shares that consent is a major piece of the puzzle and contributes to empathic communication.

Peggy educates us about moving from good to magnificent sex explaining that getting to know each other on an ongoing basis builds trust to explore deeper levels of your relationship.

We learn about differentiation and how it impacts reaching optimal sexual experiences while identifying that therapy has to be customized to each individual.

To reach for the optimal sexual experience goal, Peggy highlights that respect for each other is crucial.

Resources and Links
Website: http://www.optimalsexualexperiences.com

Book: Magnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers (http://routledge.com/9780367181376)

Background
Peggy J. Kleinplatz, Ph.D., is a Professor in the Faculty of Medicine and Director of Sex and Couples Therapy Training at the University of Ottawa, Canada. She was awarded the Prix d?Excellence in 2000 for her teaching of Human Sexuality. She is a Certified Sex Therapist and Educator.

She is the Director of the Optimal Sexual Experiences Research Team of the University of Ottawa and has a particular interest in sexual health in the elderly, disabled, and marginalized populations.

Kleinplatz has edited four books, notably New Directions in Sex Therapy:

Innovations and Alternatives (2012), winner of the AASECT 2013 Book Award,

Sadomasochism: Powerful Pleasures with Charles Moser, Ph.D., M.D. (2006)

Sexuality and Ageing with Walter Bouman, M.D. (2015).

She is the author with A. Dana Menard, Ph.D. of Magnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers

In 2015, Kleinplatz received the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists Professional Standard of Excellence Award.

Jessa Zimmerman

Jessa Zimmerman is a couples’ counselor and nationally certified sex therapist. On Better Sex, she and her expert guests share their insights, strategies, and ways of thinking about sex that will help you improve your intimate relationship.

James Hamilton Healy

James Hamilton Healy is a Best Selling Author, host of Business Innovators Radio and contributor to Small Business Trendsetters and Business Innovators Magazine covering Influencers, Innovators and Trendsetters in Business, Health, Finance and Personal Development.