My guest today is Lindsay Tucker. She is the founder of artfulsleep.com and is on a mission for better sleep for all. When managing a snoring partner, she has a fresh perspective on the challenges that can arise. To her, instead of getting rid of the disruptions, she teaches the powerful concept of accepting the disruptions and becoming a better, stronger sleeper regardless. Within this episode, she shares anecdotes and expands upon the idea of becoming a more resilient sleeper.
The Link Between Sleep and Sex
Lindsay says that most people can see the link between sleep and sex because it can create a really special bond. It’s also an intimate setting – hello, it’s the bedroom after all – and any disruptions in sleep can have considerable carryover into a couple’s sex life.
Lindsay actually shares a story about the first night she stayed the night with her husband. And right when he fell asleep, the whole house shook with his snores. She said it was so loud that she had to leave the bedroom and head to the couch. Upset and unsure if she would ever be able to cope with his seismic snores in the future, she didn’t know what to do.
She says she doesn’t share the story to make her husband feel bad, of course, but only to accentuate the close connection between sound sleep and a harmonious relationship.
Snoring is not Insurmountable
Lindsay says that you’re never going to change the person who snores, but you yourself can change and learn how to sleep better.
She says that you can work on getting rid of the disruptive blue light that messes with your circadian rhythms. This can lead to more peaceful sleep, even if your partner is a loud snorer. Additionally, instead of this subtractive approach, there’s also an additive method.
Adding blackout curtains or a cool room to the equation can really help you embrace the snoring and become a better sleeper. Lindsay said she tried all of the “gimmicky” things like a noise-canceling app on her phone, earplugs, and more, but they didn’t work for her.
Health Costs for the Snorer, and the Importance of Sleep
Lindsay says that in her experience and expertise with snoring, really the only time that there are health risks for the snorer is if they have sleep apnea. Sleep apnea prevents the sleeper from getting adequate oxygen throughout the night, which often means the person is waking up multiple times a night, gasping for air, even if they are not aware. They can then awake and feel groggy, even if the clock shows that they did in fact “sleep” deeply for 8 hours.
A big reason why Lindsay is so keen on talking about this topic is not only her own experiences with a snoring partner but also her interest in the importance of sleep. She calls sleep the one “constant” for all of us. Sacrificing your quality of sleep is a recipe for disaster. And being sleep deprived not only saps your energy but also reduces your sexual drive.
If you are sleep deprived, you are most likely not wanting to have sex. This is just the simple reality of only having a finite amount of energy. As experience dictates for my clients and in Lindsay’s estimation, if you are tired, the last thing you want to do is have sex. Add sleep deprivation to an already rampant snoring problem and things can get complicated.
For much more on this subject and details on Lindsay’s program, check out the rest of the episode!
Key Links for Lindsay:
Her website for her sleeping program: https://www.artfulsleep.com/
Link to the free guide – Talking About Sex: http://bettersexpodcast.com/talk
Join my email list here: http://bettersexpodcast.com/list
Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.com
Web – https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/
Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/
If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcast
Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman
Recent episodes from James Hamilton Healy (see all)
- 24. The First Step of Creating a New School - September 21, 2020
- 143: Surrogate Partner Therapy – Brian Gibney - September 21, 2020
- 23. A Place for Colorful Mismatched Learners to Thrive - September 14, 2020