My guest Rebecca Scritchfield is an exercise physiologist, nutritionist, author of Body Kindness and host of the Body Kindness podcast. She is a strong advocate for body positivity and healthy standards for eating, living, and self-evaluation.
Rebecca poses the question in this interview: Isn’t your life all that much better when you aren’t worried about the standards of society? Through love, connection, and care, she shares how to be fully committed to yourself and how to have better sex through body kindness. Really valuable advice within. Enjoy!
Being Thin is Not the Best and Healthiest
Rebecca says that through her professional experience, she has formed the opinion that there’s way more to health than being thin. The lynchpin for health hinges on mental wellbeing and positive body images and the standards of society often glamorize unhealthy expectations. Once caught in the cycle of negative body image, it’s hard to become the best version of yourself.
She shares an alarming statistic that most children will try their first diet by the age of 10. Even Weightwatchers has an app for young children! Rebecca herself knows what it’s like to struggle with dieting and a compulsive need to “earn” her food through exercise because she was being constantly evaluated by an unhealthy standard.
This has considerable carryover into sexuality as well because unhealthy standards can translate into a negative body image. And as is common, sex can be the furthest thing from your mind if you don’t feel attractive or good about yourself.
How to Make Peace With Your Body Now
Rebecca says that to unhook from unhealthy body image is to practice the acceptance of self. It’s not easy to do at all, but accepting your body for what it is, even on the days when you feel the worst, is one of the most valuable tools for body positivity.
And remember, acceptance is not apathy or giving up. It is an active decision to accept what is and to invite self-compassion into your mind. It also means that you unplug yourself from conforming to society’s standards. You will feel calmer, less overwhelmed by “what you should look like”, and happier in your own skin. That’s the goal overall!
Trusting Your Inner Caregiver
You don’t need rigid food rules or to follow the strict standards that others may impose on you. Yes, you get constant feedback from the other people in your life (indirectly or directly), but Rebecca says that instead of listening to the voice that preaches rigidity, you should listen to your inner caregiver.
She says that we all have inner caregivers. The voice will tell you to eat food that tastes good and to do things that give you pleasure. You can listen to the voice, you can get the takeout food that you love so much, but you can also balance out the components of the meal with something nutritious as well. This means you don’t have to diet to be healthy; you can treat yourself and not have to be so rigid and restrictive in your choices.
You can listen to the inner caregiver inside of you who tells you that you’re doing good. You can hydrate more or go on a 10-minute walk after lunch. Instead of listening to the voice that says “that’s not good enough,” listen to the voice that says: “good job!”
Tips for Better Sex with a Partner
Rebecca suggests you first establish what feels good for you personally and can readily communicate what works for you before applying the techniques she teaches to a partner. The meaningful work first starts with you!
She says it will take time, but once you sit with your desires and pleasures and know more about yourself, you will be more comfortable with your partner in the bedroom.
For more on her book, why she thinks fun is so important, and more on this subject, be sure to listen to this great interview! Check out her website as well.
Key Links for Rebecca:
Her website: https://www.bodykindnessbook.com/
Rebecca’s book: Body Kindness – https://www.amazon.com/Body-Kindness-Transform-Health-Out/dp/0761187294
Link to the free guide – Talking About Sex: http://bettersexpodcast.com/talk
Join my email list here: http://bettersexpodcast.com/list
Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.com
Web – https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/
Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/
If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcast
Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman