56: Energy Management

Hello! It’s just me today, and I want to go through what I’m currently doing in my life to do some ENERGY MANAGEMENT and what other people are doing.

I’ve talked about this before, and I’m reading a great book on the subject, The Patriarchy Stress Disorder, but we as women are PREDISPOSED to be apologetic, to be codependent, to minimize ourselves, to oppress ourselves, and TO GIVE to others. It’s just part of who we are.

If you’ve been listening to the podcast long enough, you know that when we are giving too much, when we’re too accommodating, we can stop managing our energy and become the “baby in the backseat.” Which is about 20% of the time. And that’s a lot of the time.

So, what do we do? So, where in our lives, do we need to PROTECT our energy? And how do we do it?

Number one, we need to BE ACCEPTING of people for who they are. How much time and energy do you waste on trying to change somebody or being irritated that that person who is not like you? We want people to accept us for who we are, but then who are we to judge them for who they are?

All right, number two, FORGIVE people. Just forgive people. Do you know the amount of energy that it takes not to forgive someone? It is so not worth it. Judgment takes up space. Acceptance does not. Resentment takes up space. Forgiveness does not. And if someone apologizes to you, like take their apology.

Okay, number three. LET THAT SHIT GO. Let that shit go. Anytime you’re holding on to stuff, it’s a waste of energy. And so sometimes you may need to make a conscious decision, “What can I let go?”

Number four is DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY, which is from The Four Agreements. Most of the time, it has nothing to do with you. Everybody’s dealing with their own shit and someone’s reaction to you likely has nothing to do with you.

Alright, those are the heavy lifters when it comes to energy management, but let’s get real. How many of you are on Facebook or Instagram way, way, way, way, way, way more than you need to be? Hands all over the country, all over the world for that matter, are going up right now because we are almost all guilty of this, and it is an energy management KILLER.

When we get on social media, and let’s be honest, what’s the first thing we do? We COMPARE ourselves to other people. “Oh my God, that person’s hair looks amazing. Or, wow, her butt is so on-point. Oh, her marriage is perfect. Oh my God, her business is killing it. Oh, she is traveling all over.”

“Oh, she must be a millionaire. Oh, she must not have any problems. Oh, look how clean her house is. Oh, LOOK AT ALL THE THINGS… I am a fucking loser…”

One of the biggest energy management tools is to TURN YOUR DAMN PHONE OFF. I need to turn it off because otherwise, I’m that person. I’m always clicking it, touching it, looking at it, all the things. So, I turn my phone off for multiple hours a day.

How many of you have NOTIFICATIONS for every godforsaken app on your phone? Hands again, all over the country and the world going up… Turn that shit off because you’re reactive and when that ping goes off, we break whatever concentration we are in to go to our phone.

And it takes like 20 minutes for us to get back to whatever task that we were doing, no matter the task. Try it for a month, a week, a day. Turn that off and BE PROACTIVE about when you’re going into your apps. PROTECT YOUR ENERGY.

And that then that leads us to set some BOUNDARIES. I’m not gonna lie, I have gotten away from this a little bit lately. I have a problem with boundaries. I over-give and this just teaches others by responding to them that this is acceptable, and it’s not.

Okay, next on the list… CODEPENDENCY. When are you jumping on the other side of the net, and where are you letting other people jump on your side of the net? It’s such a humongous topic, and I promise I will talk about it in upcoming episodes. Basically, what is your business and what is not your business? What are you spending energy on that is none of your fucking business.

The last thing I cover today is COMPARTMENTALIZATION. I’ve done podcasts about this. There are videos in the Squad about this, but compartmentalization is being as FOCUSED as possible, one hundred percent doing one thing at a time.

Being with your partner, eating a meal, being on your phone. Listening to a podcast, self-care, watching TV, going for a walk, playing with your kids, doing work, right? As women, we have a lot of compartments. When we are multitasking, when we are trying to manage and control things, we are all over the place. Making sure as much as possible that you are compartmentalized in the thing that you are doing is one of the number one energy management tools.

I hope that you will take the time to listen to this episode and to try some energy management, it is such a key piece to getting the most out of every day, every relationship, everything.

Join The Squad and ask me some questions. Start connecting with the community and me. I will see you next week. We have so much good stuff coming up on the podcast, so please share it. Love you guys. See you soon!

For more about Jessica and her upcoming events, visit https://jessicabutts.com

The FREE Front Seat Squad: https://jessicabutts.com/squad/

Follow her on Instagram @frontseatlife for daily motivation.

Book: Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women’s Happiness and Fulfillment by Valerie Rein Ph.D. – https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544505779/

Book: The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book) by Don Miguel Ruiz – https://www.amazon.com/dp/1878424319/

Book: Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie – https://www.amazon.com/dp/0894864025/

Not sure what your Myers Briggs personality type is? Take a free personality assessment at https://jessicabutts.com/front-seat-life-personality-assessment/

Jessica Butts

Jessica Butts is a retired psychotherapist turned Author, Motivational Speaker, and Business Coach who focuses on strategies, tips, and mindset tools to help you “be unapologetically who you are” in your life, love and business!

James Hamilton Healy

James Hamilton Healy is a Best Selling Author, host of Business Innovators Radio and contributor to Small Business Trendsetters and Business Innovators Magazine covering Influencers, Innovators and Trendsetters in Business, Health, Finance and Personal Development.